bad news good news via @TweetSmarter

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BadNews: You’re addicted to Twitter.
GoodNews: You don’t believe that is bad news!

  BadNews: Your date is tweeting during sex.
GoodNews: You’re getting lots of new followers.
  BadNews: Your Twitter account was hacked.
GoodNews: They’re getting more retweets than you did.
  GoodNews: You just got a bunch of new followers!
BadNews: It’s just another Twitter bug.
  BadNews: You plot ways to work Twitter into every conversation.
GoodNews: You’re getting pretty good at it.
  BadNews: You check your number of followers compulsively.
GoodNews: Two more today!
  BadNews: Your wife left, took the dog & the pickup truck.
GoodNews: This is sure to get you a lot of retweets.
  GoodNews: You’ve become a better listener.
BadNews: You just don’t want to miss anything that might be tweetable.
  GoodNews: You’re going to stop tweeting & get some work done!
BadNews: You say that every hour.
  BadNews: Can’t think of anything to tweet.
GoodNews: Wait a minute…just tweet you can’t think of anything #Genius.
  GoodNews: Everyone who ever unfollowed you is following again!
BadNews: It’s just another Twitter bug.
  GoodNews: Your ADD has been cured.
BadNews: Having a 140-character length attention span doesn’t count.
  BadNews: You’re so Twitaddicted, you tweet in your sleep.
GoodNews: Doubles your chance for retweets.
  GoodNews: You can sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks.
BadNews: It’s only because Twitter is down.
  BadNews: You create #hashtags that only you use or understand.
GoodNews: #FreewayCatNinja LOL!!!
  GoodNews: You’ve lost weight.
BadNews: It’s because Twitter mobile broke, & now you can’t leave the computer to eat.
  BadNews: Technologically-advanced aliens enslave mankind & take over Twitter.
GoodNews: No more Twitter downtime!
  BadNews: You died last night.
GoodNews: Your last tweet is getting a record number of retweets this morning.

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